Good Marriages, and Bad…
Posted by Henric C. Jensen on August 27, 2007
I saw a woman in Dr. Phil – about elder women and younger men. She used to have a toy boy (yes, she called him that!) until she was in hospital for operation and he didn’t show up… He was “lovely” as long as he looked good and entertained her in bed, but not anymore when she needed a human being instead of a “living doll”… >:-> Instead of looking at herself and realizing that SHE had objectified the guy, she expected that her girlfriend (who had a “boyfriend” 14 years younger) saw her “toy boy” the same way she did. To me it was pretty clear that the girlfriend didn’t have a toy but a spouse, a partner, a friend – a human being.
I thought of my brother who is born 1961 and has a wife born 1975. Her best friend dated his best friend at the same time, but the friend was way too “young” to the relationship… My brother and my sister-in-law are doing fine; they have been married for over 10 years and still love each other dearly and can really count on each other through thick and thin.
It’s not about the age and years between, it’s about the relationship, the way people see each other.
I love my wife – I have for 12 years now and I expect to do so for the rest of my life – despite ups and downs, hard times and easy times we have the best marriage I have ever seen, perhaps with the exception of my mother and father-in-law. 🙂
But there are miserable creatures out there, who for some reason just loves to hate their spouse/SO, to a degree that they’d rather stay in a Bad Relationship and attack those of us who are actually in Good Relationships. I guess it’s jealousy or envy.
Toxic people, people with small lives and small minds and sick experiences they have no tools to deal with. Those people end up in bad relationships – the rest of us actually live happily ever after, despite ups and downs and attacks from others on our happinesses.
So Whiney, Rocket Scientist and Catgal go to hell, whatever our personal flaws might be, we live openly, happily and actually very functional lives.