The Enemy is One – and It Is Not Us

patriarchy. you know, that all-overshadowing social and political system that wants nothing else but keep us occupied with internal squabbles so we are kept unaware of how it is stealing our lives and our power.

patriarchy is the biggest and most violent equal opportunist monster there is. patriarchy has no gender, no race, no religion, no sexuality, no class, no ethnicity, it never did and it never will. patriarchy is gender-less and impersonal, colorless and indifferent.

as long as we keep ‘comparing notes’ on who is the most disadvantaged, abused and raped, who is the most victimized and vilified, patriarchy has won.

the Enemy is only one and E is winning while we fight each other. for me there has ever only been one enemy.

that one enemy has  managed to deceive us into believing that there are all those ranks, hierarchies and social structures that are trying to butt in on our specific turf or excluding us from some other turf, depriving us of our rights and our equality.

this is a lie. if we constantly assign power to others based on their  gender, race, religion, sexuality, class, ethnicity or (dis)ability, while claiming ourselves powerless, everyone of us will end up being powerless. that is what patriarchy wants.

i cannot convince someone to join me by alienating them with demands of special victim-hood status, i cannot convince people not yet aware/awake to wake up by yelling at them that they are stupid sheeple. i cannot make an ally out of someone i approach with contempt because of their gender, race, religion, sexuality, class, ethnicity or (dis)ability.

yes, we may disagree about the details, the interconnected issues and what not – but if we start attacking each other and judge each other as ‘not worthy’, we are playing right into patriarchy’s hands, and all we accomplish is a whole lot of hurt and loneliness, while patriarchy keeps on eating our hearts and souls.

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If Dad Gives His Child a Bath …male-bashing par excellence

Background: In my recent blog post If You See a Father Holding His Child’s Hand, Call the Cops!, I called attention to the man-bashing Virginia Department of Health poster pictured above. I wrote:

“If dad goes for a walk with his daughter and holds her hand, apparently Virginia Department of Health officials wants you to pick up the phone and destroy his life by reporting him as a possible sexual abuser. I would’ve thought this article about this campaign was from The Onion or some satirical publication, but it’s for real. The picture above of a man holding a child’s hand–a touching little scene–is actually supposed to make us think he’s sexually abusing the child. Unbelievable.”

It is assumed that a man holding his daughter’s hand is also abusing her sexually. Can it really become any more misandrist than that?

The supposed aim of the campaign is to encourage people to report, seek help and stop child sexual abuse – and as such it is commendable – but the imagery and assumptions the ad carries is nothing but cementing the idea that ALL men are sexual predators, and that there are no healthy father-daughter relationships out there, or that they are at the very least very few.

The ad makers do not seem to have considered the implications for anyone falsely accused of sexual child abuse – the cost in human rights, privacy, family welfare or even child welfare for those children who are being hauled into Social Services Offices and pressured to testify – often through leading questions and “tests” that are then interpreted, by uneducated SSO workers who are more interested in getting a “conviction” to show off to their colleagues, than they are at actually hearing or seeing the truth.

“Groups that have formed to help people falsely accused of abuse are opposed to the campaign. Dean Tong, who operates a Web site that offers help to people who are falsely accused of abuse, said the campaign has the potential to tarnish the reputation of innocent people and hurt children.

“For every case of genuine abuse, there are two or three that are unfounded witch hunts,” said Tong, a Florida forensic consultant who has written books on the topic of false accusations.“

The false accusations, the night-mares for the children, the fathers, mothers and relatives while a false accusation is investigated, in a country where the mere suspicion of” sexual misconduct” will end you posted on the Internet “to warn parents”, are horrible enough, without this sort of hysterical and discriminating campaign.

Campaigns like this will only add fuel to an already, in regards to sexual matters “overheated public”, that crave such scandals and sleaze because their lives are boring and unimaginative as it is.

It’s McCarthy all over, “How do you know your neighbor is Commie?” but this is targeting not a politically undesirable group, which is bad enough – it’s targeting people because of their gender. Isn’t that what the Feminist have (justified or not) accused the Patriarchy of doing to women since time immemorial?

Why repeat the mistakes of Patriarchy?

“Too sexy for my bus, woman told”

BlackSun, Tuesday, 17 July 2007, Black Sun Journal

 

Too sexy for my bus, woman told

 

“Suddenly he stopped the bus,” the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. “He opened the door and shouted at me ‘Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can’t concentrate on the traffic. If you don’t sit somewhere else, I’m going to have to throw you off the bus.’”

After you stop laughing at the absurdity of this story, you might realize that this reaction bears more than passing resemblance to the Islamic “uncovered meat” analogy.

 

Instead of placing the responsibility for desire and arousal on the male, where it belongs, such statements essentially demand women cover themselves to compensate for the lack of male self-control. When we allow people to get away with this type of thinking, we are prolonging the implicit patriarchy and repression of women. We are telling women that their bodies are shameful in some way.

 

A spokesman for the bus company defended the driver. “The bus driver is allowed to do that and he did the right thing,” the spokesman said. “A bus driver cannot be distracted because it’s a danger to the safety of all the passengers.”

This guy should have been instantly fired. How juvenile and insulting can you be to a customer? If you have a job (such as bus driving) where you interact with the public, you need to be prepared for a wide range of imagery which may on occasion include sexual temptation. Welcome to planet Earth. If you can’t do the job, then quit.

 

It might also help to get laid.

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For crying out loud…what planet did this bus driver come from? If I had said something like that to anyone, I would have had my cujones pulled of and stuffed down my throat…

I have to agree with my fellow blogger here –  “Instead of placing the responsibility for desire and arousal on the male, where it belongs, such statements essentially demand women cover themselves to compensate for the lack of male self-control.”

Males like this makes me feel like an alien.