SOB’s Grins & Grumps

Everything Between Heaven and Earth and Beyond

  • Copyrights and Contact

    Henric C. Jensen
    All images and Artwork are
    © 2006-2018 Henric C. Jensen

  • January 2010
    S M T W T F S
  • Categories

  • Meta

  • Recent Posts

  • Archives

Archive for January, 2010

OTM of Pain 3

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 14, 2010

Pain is not a good thing. 
Pain is not a teacher. 
Pain is not healing. 
Pain is not a blessing. 
Pain is not love. 
Pain is not sweet. 
Pain is not inevitable.

When people talk about pain in positive terms like this:

Pain is a good thing. 
Pain is a teacher. 
Pain is healing. 
Pain is a blessing. 
Pain is love. 
Pain is sweet. 
Pain is inevitable.

They are not speaking about PAIN as something that comes without warning, without their own control. They are speaking about self-imposed pain. Self-mortification, self-flagellation. That is not PAIN, that is the self-centered and egotistical imitation of pain. Ultimately it’s an attempt to avoid pain.

Judaism has always held self-mortificators in low regard, as exactly that, self-centered and egotistical imitators and attention seekers.

Torah says about this:

“‘Now this is the law of the Nazirite when the days of his separation are fulfilled, he shall bring the offering to the doorway of the tent of meeting. 14 ‘He shall present his offering to the LORD: one male lamb a year old without defect for a burnt offering and one ewe-lamb a year old without defect for a sin offering and one ram without defect for a peace offering, 15 and a basket of unleavened cakes of fine flour mixed with oil and unleavened wafers spread with oil, along with their grain offering and their drink offering. 16 ‘Then the priest shall present them before the LORD and shall offer his sin offering and his burnt offering.”

Torah allows self-imposed mortifications (becoming a nazarite), but does at the same time consider the act in itself a sin for which the person needs to bring a sin-offering to be cleansed from.

People who seek pain as a teacher, healing, blessing etc, will learn nothing, heal nothing and get no blessing from it, because they are not seeking real pain, they are creating a controllable imitation of pain, which means that they have removed the one element of pain, emotional or physical, that makes pain into painpowerlessness to make it stop.

This is akin to the self-victimizers who create situations, f.i online in discussion forums, where they are ‘victimized’ by others through being ‘misunderstood’, ‘ignored’ or ‘met by aggression’. The nature of the ‘misunderstanding’ or ‘aggression’ is always defined by the self-victimizer, and is seldom visible to an objective eye. They are ultimately in control of those situations, and are quite adept at manipulating the situations so that the victimizations are never specifically severe. Once they have had their ‘fix’ they leave the discussion or the Forum entirely, and are satisfied for a while, until they need their next ‘fix’, at which time they will come back and create a new situation in which they can be ‘victimized’ under controlled forms.


Posted in spirituality | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

OTM of Pain 2

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 12, 2010

“what hurts us most heals us most”

Another fantastic nonsensical statement that is meant to cement pain and suffering as a path to a healthy spiritual living…and of course pure bullshit as well 🙂 – and one of the most horrifying examples of Spiritual Double-Speak that I have ever come across.

In the Middle Ages and the Renaissance it was believed that pain and suffering had an ennobling, sweetening and cleansing effect on everything.


So in order to sweeten the meat of animals, they were cooked alive and eaten while still alive in that cooked state. [linkWARNING, the text is extremely graphic and disturbing, read at your own risk, and don’t tell me I did not warn you] witches, prostitutes and homosexuals were thought to be cleansed from their ‘sins’ by the repeated insertion of hot-red iron rods and iron-‘eggs’ (nice little contraptions that could be opened inside the body once they had been inserted) in their mouths, rectal orifices and vaginas. There was even a special chair that could insert those implements simultaneously in all orifices of the human body. Gay men were also subjected to what was called “the ring” – a red hot iron ring were pressed on and around their penis repeatedly.

It was believed that it was good for their souls – that they, because they eventually died from this treatment (the longest recorded time anyone lived through this treatment is said to have been 4 days), were not only cleansed from their sins, but ennobled and elevated human beings.

In addition to this belief, flagellants – self-mortificators – were held in high regard because it was believed that the repeated act of whipping, cutting and branding themselves lead to an ennobling of the soul.

The honest fact about all this ‘pain is enlightening, ennobling and good for the soul’, which was not just high spiritual fashion in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, but is high spiritual fashion today, and in Gaia, is that it is all a way to find purpose in that which we cannot explain – it is a way to solve the problem of human suffering.

If I can say (and believe) that “what hurts us most heals us most” is a spiritual truth, then suffering is not suffering at all, and pain is not pain at and I can go on denying the facts of my life – especially if I take road of Siddhartha Gautama and sits me down under a tree and close my eyes to it all. Spiritual Double-Speak. It also removes the responsibility of being compassionate, caring and kind from me, because if suffering and pain is GOOD for people, then I shouldn’t work to alleviate wars, famine, torture, abuse or human rights violations, because in doing so I would be robbing people of much needed spiritual growth., like this child here:

Posted in spirituality | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

OTM of Pain 1

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 12, 2010

Pain is inevitable,

Suffering is optional

Bullshit, pure unsifted horse manure, is what it is.

Pain IS suffering – even if it’s just a mild headache. With a mild headache I might be able to function, and unless my headache is chronic, it will eventually cease. I can perhaps quicken its demise by taking an aspirin. Good. Then I do that.

Yes, you can learn to live with pain – cope – but it’s still suffering and it still affects every aspect of your life. Inevitably. To claim anything else is lying and delusional.

Contrary to common belief, exposure to prolonged pain doesn’t desensitize us to pain, it makes us more sensitive to pain.

Something that is often observed in victims of chronic pain – after a while the pain medication seem to not be working, and the dosage needs to be adjusted – not because the pain in itself increased, but because the body itself and the nervous system has became more sensitive, and thus the experience of pain changed and the pain increased.

Because – and this is important – even if pain-medication blocks the pain-signal from the site of the pain, it does not REMOVE or HEAL the cause of the pain. That is still there, and the body is still experiencing it in full, the nerves and tissue are still exploding with pain. What happens when we get more sensitive to pain as we are exposed to it is that the tissue, nerves, the area of pain is getting fatigued, and we all know that fatigue makes anything more sensitive, from inorganic minerals to human flesh. So the site of pain will raise its voice and break through the pain-medication block, and tell us that it hurts and even more than before.

We experience pain differently to begin with. What to some might be mild and bearable may to others be excruciating. That’s why in modern pain-management the sufferer is asked where on a scale from 1-10 their pain level is, so that they can get pain-medication or pain-relief that is adapted to their personal and actual experience of the pain, not to a standardized dosage scale.

I will be getting at the ‘pain-worshipping’ that we are so fond of, in my next entry. Until then contemplate the victim of torture in the picture, and meditate over how his pain is a spiritual experience to be embraced for the betterment of his soul, and how the trauma will teach him a valuable lesson about the kindness of humans and the omnipresence of G-d 🙂

Posted in spirituality | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

OTM of Being Real 1

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 11, 2010


by Margery Williams

(this starts at the point when the Skin Horse and the Rabbit are talking)

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn’t how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn’t happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy’s Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always."

“Get Real!”

Here in Gaia I have heard this – people demanding, coaxing, requesting, wishing for others to be Real.

What’s it mean? Following a few discussions it seemed that what it means is “Be Honest, Take Responsibility, Be a Mensch!”

I was reminded of a few concepts I am familiar with from the 12 Step Movement – Rigorous Honesty, Spiritual Awakening.

But that’s not something we can demand of people. It’s something that takes time, if it happens at all.

Some people never get there – they can’t seem to grasp even the smallest morsel of what it is. They skirt the issue entirely. Some get it fast – they reach out for it and embrace it in bounds and leaps – and most often we admire those people.

And yet some others approach this tentatively, slowly in small increments at an almost invisible pace. That is how it must be. For them.

Some talk high and low about it, but when asked to actually DISPLAY realness they turn out to be all talk and no walk. It’s disappointing when that happens, but it has to be ok, that too. Others don’t even have the concept in their vocabulary – yet when you meet them they exude Realness.

It is not something we can demand of people, because when all is said and done, it’s something that happens as a result of being loved to bits. All we can do, for those who have not yet found their Realness, for whatever reason, is compassionately love them by being as Real as we are capable of in our dealings with them and leave the rest to G-d.

Posted in spirituality | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

OTM of Being A Man

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 10, 2010

“we cannot have mutual healing and enlightenment unless we also have recognition of harm done that goes both ways.”

No woman, except my wife, has ever told me that there is anything GOOD about being a Man – ever. No woman, except my wife, has ever expressed their appreciation for that which is typical male about me, or any man. It is as if a majority of women really think men are useless, worthless and meaningless creatures that they put up with for some inconceivable reason.

I find this realization quite painful, and it also makes me very angry, because I know that I cannot be the only man feeling like this. I know I am not.

I don’t hate women. I find women for the most part to be delightful, wonderful and intriguing creatures, until I see that hard, hateful glint in their eyes directed at me because I am a man, accusing me of all things horrible in the world including things I am either too young to be guilty of or too old to be guilty of, even in a theoretical manner. Every time that happens something dies in me, a piece of my ‘man’ wants to cease to exist, because no-one can stand that much hate.

When are ordinary women, who actually love men, exactly because they are men, (I have to believe that you exist…) going to revolt against the hatred against men conditioned into women from the day they are born? When?

Posted in Men | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

OTM of Wee Seedlings

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 8, 2010

“that some wee seedlings need to be kept safe from big storms until they’re strong and limber enough to play.”

What if the wee seedlings use the wee-ness to control and manipulate the storm? What if the wee seedlings are determined to tease the storm and go poke it, and when the storm roars at them they start crying and whimpering pointing at it and say: It is mean, it roared at me, I didn’t do anything, I just hopped about here with my friends having fun and it roared at me! Bad storm!

What then? Who dares to take the wee seedling to task and tell it that it is not ok to tease and poke the storm? Because the wee seedling is so wee and needs protection…after all it’s not the wee seedlings fault that it is so wee, is it?

Beware of Wee Seedling, ‘cause it can level an entire Forest worse than any Storm and control an entire City better than any Mayor, and it is never full, it always wants more, and it is always too Wee to take the consequences.

Posted in spirituality | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

OTM of Being Human

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 6, 2010

“You don’t get harmony when everybody sings the same note.”
Doug Floyd

I participated in a discussion about ‘What is Our True Nature?’

In one post I wrote:

My question [What if we ARE awake but believe that we are asleep?] comes from all the ‘high-flying spiritual stuff’ that we pander to each other in our attempts to figure out what is often – to my mind at least – either inexplicable or for lack of better word, redundant.

We chase enlightenment, awakening, salvation, tzaddikheit, as if it’s the holy grail, at the beckoning of others who somehow manage to convince us that we are all asleep and need what ever ‘cure’ they have for that.

But can humanness be ‘cured’? Is it supposed to be cured?

One of my favorite Rabbi Sayings goes: When I get to heaven, they will not ask me why I was not Moses, but why I was not Zuzya.” (Rabbi Zuzya of Hanipoli)

…perhaps “Our True Nature” doesn’t exist, all that is is Your True Nature and My True Nature, and the point is to honor that and live it the best each of us can?

I am Unique. G-d Created me in Their Image, and I will worship Him as I see fit. I will seek Her in my way and play my Music my way. You pander your solutions to me, proffering your nuggets of lead at me, claiming they are gold – but they are stones to me, they do not come from my claim, that G-d gave me on the Day I was born, the Day She whispered my Name and said: You are Mine!

What if we do not have to chase anything, what if all our cures for Humanness are nothing but chaff and ash, and all there is is the Whisper: You are Mine and the answer is a simple: "Yes!"?

Posted in spirituality | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

OTM of Forgiveness

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 6, 2010

Sometimes forgiveness does have limits; if a person keeps making the same mistake for which they’re apologizing it makes the apology meaningless!

I agree.

Apologies made out of habit, where it seems like the other person doesn’t really care whether he or she hurts someone, it becomes meaningless, and most spiritual paths will agree on this. What happens in the person who is wronged is that the hurt festers to resentment and eventually dejection.

And then again I don’t.

Because not all ‘repetitive apologies’ are made ‘out of habit’.

Somewhere in all that apologizing is an awareness of wrong done and damage inflicted, and an acute sense of powerlessness to change.

How on Earth can I say this? Because I know what it means to make the same mistake over and over and not being able to change the behavior. Not knowing HOW to change, does not equal not WANTING to change.

Every time I find myself having done the same thing, the same mistake, the same damage, the same wrongdoing the shame and pain becomes stronger, fiercer and seem to be the very fuel the shortcoming feeds on…

In that space, a compassionate acceptance of my apology and reassurance that the balance has been restored between me and the wronged person can mean the difference between succumbing to a soul-killing shame and renewed courage to seek a remedy to the ‘illness’ that prevents me from readily change the behavior.

The core of the problem is that we cannot truly know what kind of apology we are being offered or why the person apologizing seem unable to change the behavior.

We can only choose to do either of two things – ask G-d to give us the patience and compassion to assume that there’s a ‘good’ reason the other seems to have trouble changing or remove ourselves from that person’s company altogether, so that we do not build resentment and end up dejected, feeling that we are not worthy of respect.

It’s all up to us.

Posted in spirituality | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

OTM of Getting It

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on January 4, 2010

A friend of mine is involved in a discussion with another Gaian – and there is some rather constipated thinking going on, on part of the other Gaian. My friend is being kind and at the same time slightly pointedly attempting to disclose to the other where they are ‘missing the point’ and ‘not getting it’.

At this point in the discussion the other is ‘confused’ and confesses to not being able to reply to my friend’s last post and visits his Grapevine with the following statement:

"no prob…i don’t know how to answer your post…i am not talking about enlightenment…i am speaking of waking up to being human…"


It seems to me that those two are the same 🙂
Wouldn’t you agree?

Posted in General | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

%d bloggers like this: