G-d, Lashon Hara and The Days of Awe

“Don’t tell the truth, don’t share your opinion about people – or should we call them Main Characters in Torah….because then you are lying, using evil speak and embarrassing them in public…”

This echoes the things we were taught as children, “Don’t speak, don’t feel, don’t rock the boat”, doesn’t it? Isn’t this what keeps so many of us in bondage, sexually, emotionally, physically, spiritually, tied to our abusive pasts, because we are not allowed, not only by our families, but by oversensitive and legalistic interpretations of Torah?

I agree that we should avoid embarrassing living people in public, especially if there is no need, if the issue can be solved some other way – but that one is not allowed to expound on Torah in a manner that shows that indeed the Forefathers and Foremothers were human being just like you and me, with flaws, faults, character defects and dysfunctions, that is simply ridiculous.

People in Torah were some times up shit creek with themselves. That needs to be said, or what use is it to anyone to try and emulate their good sides, if we cannot identify with them on a deeper level, that of shame, fear, suffering and anger?

None whatsoever. It only serves the disease and the abusers.

The prohibition against Lashon Hara doesn’t cover the

“times when a person is obligated to speak out, even though the information is disparaging. Specifically, if a person’s intent in sharing the negative information is for a to’elet, a positive, constructive, and beneficial purpose, the prohibition against lashon hara does not apply. Motzi shem ra, spouting lies and spreading disinformation, is always prohibited. And if the lashon hara serves as a warning against the possibility of future harm, such communication is not only permissible, but, under certain conditions, compulsory.”

So as we clamber through The Days of Awe, and take time to examine our conduct and reason with G-d about it, we shouldn’t be shy about speaking the truth about where we came from, both in regards to our families and in regards to ourselves and remember that

“For the mistakes we committed before You through things we blurted out with our lips” and “For the mistakes we committed before You through harsh speech”(from the Al Chet Prayer)

doesn’t speak about disclosing our parents’ disease, abuse and dysfunction.

Amen

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