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Solution: Empower the Kids

Posted by Henric C. Jensen on May 27, 2006


“Until we dig our heads out of the sand and say “ENOUGH!!!” and start talking and taking back the power from the abusers, nothing will be accomplished, except for a lot more hand wringing, and a lot more potential from the young people (children) lost forever.” From Shari’s Blog

Oy! Yes! I agree. “Taking back the power from the abusers.” Yes, that’s it. That’s what we need to do! Question is how do we do that? EDUCATION. EMPOWERMENT through education. Teaching our children that abuse is not the normal way of relating to others, so when adults use violence, any kind of violence, they are WRONG. Teach children to be DISRESPECTFUL of adults in a helathy way. I and my wife love children who are sassy and question our actions and our values. It’s a sign of mental health – it shows that they do not fear. It is good and healthy to question authorities – it keeps the authorities honest.

Creating legislation that allows children to leave abusive parents the first time a parent hurts them – and it shouldn’t be just physical violence. A parent that speaks disrespectfully of and to their child will sooner or later reach the point where they use physical violence.

Create legislation that empowers other adults to take action. Make it profitable to step up and defend kids who are being verbally abused in public. Make it illegal as in “you go to jail for aiding and abetting” if you fail to step in and defend children that are being abused in any form, manner or way.

We also need to educate the general public about what children actually are.

1. Children are not property – this is the most prevalent misconception about being a parent. That as a parent you own your child. This is WRONG! Children are PEOPLE, just like any adult – the only difference between children and adults is EXPERIENCE. To look at other people like property, is just what the 18th and 19th centuries slave owners did.

2. Children are born good, perfect and healthy – unfortunately for kids, Xian teachings about Original Sin have resulted in kids being beaten, punished, hurt and killed from the day they were born as being ‘bad’ and ‘sinful’ simply because they are kids and human. Children will do anything to please, because they are dependent on the adult to care for them, and they CRAVE love and acceptance. I.e positive re-enforcement works like clockwork, because the love and acceptance the child recieves for following directions given is EXACTLY what he/she needs.

3. Parents are not beyond reproach – i.e parents do have to EARN their children’s respect and they are not entitled in any way to special privileges just because they are Parents. For an article on the matter of “Honoring one’s Parents” from a Biblical perspective read my other blog.

4. You learn all your values, ethics and basic life skills before the age of 5 – after that all you do is practice and perfect them. If we as adults have not taught our children functional life skills and values (through being examples, non-abusive guidance and positive re-enforcement) before they are 5, it really is no idea trying later, because it will simply be a waste of time. And it will be abusive, because we will be attempting to break something that has become ingrained in their nature. It is possible to divert negative life skills and so on, but it is no longer possible to un-learn what has been learned before the age of 5.

5. Children have the same rights as adults – children are included in the UDHR – they do also have a Charter of their own, which every adult should know by heart and do their damnnedest to make sure they fullfill in relation to ALL children.

Khalil Gibran said: “Children don’t come of you – they come through you.”

Shalom!

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One Response to “Solution: Empower the Kids”

  1. manchitra said

    good post . i too agree that kids should be taught good values in the formative years itself and adults must respect children .

    Like

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